Writing Sample #2 - Philosophy Paper

The You/Me Phenomenon

Homo Sapiens are evolutionarily inclined to social groups. It has been encoded in our DNA through millions of years that our reliance on each other leads to a greater chance for survival. But society has changed, become more focused on individuality, and we now covet that elusive quality known as self reliance. Our necessity for other human beings has not diminished, but our motives and self images have changed. We no longer rely directly on those around us for survival, but for information, perspective, and personal gain. Through our social interactions, we learn things about ourselves that we would otherwise have no opportunity to explore, or even realize. For instance, the development of an enemy brings you face to face with your own code of conduct. Do you confront the enemy head on, or do you ignore them to the best of your ability? Do you yell at them, make snide remarks, talk behind their back, or freeze them out? What kind of person are you? These are traits that would otherwise never be considered or consciously revised if not provoked by an outside force. Friends, however, do not just allow you to view yourself from an outside perspective, they act as a mirror. Aristotle, Kant, Kierkegaard and countless others would agree that friends are those in whom you see some part of you. They are ‘other selves.’

The value of this lies in the idea of self love. Aristotle argues that “…blessedly happy and self-sufficient people have no need of friends. For they already have [all] the goods, and hence, being self-sufficient, need nothing added. But your friend, since he is another yourself, supplies what your own efforts cannot supply” (Pakaluk, 63). Friends allow us to love ourselves to an extent that we can not accomplish alone. For instance, the happiness one feels through aiding another, through being relied upon. This is also why we are only capable of maintaining a limited amount of true friendships at one time. The need for friendships is directly proportional to the amount of empty space or loneliness inside ourselves. When we are able to fill that space with sincerely meaningful relationships, we become sufficient on within those relationships, and no longer require anyone else.

Does this mean that the perfect friendship would, by definition, lead to its own end? After all, if a friendship were to eradicate that space and loneliness, eventually the need for even that relationship would dissipate, for we would become Aristotle’s blessedly happy and self-sufficient person, with no more need for the presence of others in our lives. I don’t mean to say, however, that friendships “cure” the empty space, so much as they allow us to acknowledge it. We are able to fully appreciate where our gaps are, which helps us to better navigate through life. To recognize the need that exists within us is enriching and valuable, but to eradicate that space has been the goal of religion, science, and philosophy for as long as we humans have suspected that we are fundamentally alone. It drives us to ask questions and seek out the company of others until we can find that mythic, superlative answer or other half that will finally let us rest, feeling complete and loved. Without those things, our need for others will not dissipate, and there is no inevitable end to a friendship.