The MFing SAG Awards!

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but Meryl Streep is a total cockblock. Here's the thing, Amy Adams graduated from the high school where my mother now works. Her former drama teacher sends out updates on her career to everyone in the district. We've been following her for years. I promised my mother if I ever saw Amy Adams that I would tell her all of this and let her know how proud everyone is of her. Well...I saw her. I saw her a lot. And she is beautiful. And I have a total girl crush on her. But first Alec Baldwin and then Meryl Streep just would not get away from her so I could talk to her or even slip her the note I absolutely did not write.
Fucking Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin.

She's nominated for an Academy Award, so that will be my next chance. If I have to elbow Streep in the face to get to her, I will do it.

Anyway...awesome! Totally awesome! I saw more stars then I can count on two hands, and I just couldn't seem to get away from the guy who plays Taub on House. Every time I turned around, there was Taub, in my face, trying to give me medical advice. Get over it dude, it's just a show.
One actor, who I will refer to as ? for the sake of discretion, was at one table as I was trying to get a dessert plate to the table next to him. The conversation went like this:

?: "Oh, desserts!"
Me: "I'm trying to get to table 14."
?: "Fuck table 14." ::Starts eating off my plate with his buddy::
Me: "Dude, come on..."
?: ::Waving his SAG Award in my face:: "See this! I won this, so I get to eat this." ::Waves donut in the air and then bites into it. It squirts on his sleeve:: "Oh, look what it did."
Me: ::Pointing:: "Haha! That's karma."

I found table 14. Then I felt bad and brought him his own dessert plate and said, a little sarcastically, "Congratulations on your award." He, both jokingly and petulantly, responded, "Now I'm not hungry." So I plopped it down on the table in front of him, said, "Fine. Someone else will eat it," and sauntered away. It was kind of a rockin' moment.

One thing I did learn is that I will never be famous. This is because if I only ate cabbage for the rest of my life and ran on the treadmill 23 hours a day and had 2.5 billion dollars worth of plastic surgery, I will still never be as skinny as 80% of the women there. I'm not going to lie, it's a weird phenomenon.